250+ Insanely Funny WhatsApp Statuses for 2023

Are you looking for some witty and funny WhatsApp status messages?

Perhaps you’ve grown tired of your rather boring WhatsApp profile and you’d like to spice it up a little with a funny status in English?

Well, you’ve come to the right place, because unlike many other sites we don’t just flood you with endless lists of funny quotes for WhatsApp statuses.

In this guide, you’ll find a curated list of the 250+ most hilarious and funny jokes for WhatsApp statuses, grouped into over a dozen distinct topics.

Let’s check them out.

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250+ Insanely Funny WhatsApp Statuses for 2023
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What is a WhatsApp Status?

Your WhatsApp status is a static text, usually just a one-liner, that you can add in the “About” section of your account’s profile. It is visible to anyone who can see your profile on WhatsApp. Many people like to add funny WhatsApp status messages to show their friends just how clever and witty they are.

What originally started off as a simple smartphone app that was meant to eliminate the need for SMS text messages, has since become one biggest messaging platforms in the world.

After being acquired by Facebook in 2014, WhatsApp continued to grow and today it connects roughly 2 billion people around the globe.

WhatsApp is incredibly widespread around the world, especially outside the United States.

It’s rather surprising that Facebook didn’t integrate it into its other social media platforms earlier.

But perhaps that is part of the appeal for many people who are not interested in all the distracting features of Facebook and Instagram.

WhatsApp is so old-school that it still has a “WhatsApp Status” which is very reminiscent of the early days of social media.

It’s a little bit like a combination of the old Facebook wall and Twitter status messages, just with slightly more privacy.

And just like back in the day, people just love to add funny WhatsApp statuses to their profiles in order to show the world how clever they are.

In fact, they are so popular that many people, just like you, search the internet for some of the best funny WhatsApp status ideas, whether in English or any other language.

Funny WhatsApp statuses are sometimes also referred to as a “Comedy Status” or “Funny Jokes Status” because of the humorous nature of most of them.

But there are other categories of WhatsApp statuses as well, catering to different personality types and moods.

For example, quite a few people like to add a funny love status to their profile or a funny attitude status to show the world what they’re thinking and doing.

No matter what sort of funny WhatsApp status you’re looking for, you’re guaranteed to find something in our list below.

How to Change Your WhatsApp Status

You can easily update your basic WhatsApp status by updating the “About” section inside your profile, hidden away in the settings. Sending out a dynamic “stories”-style status update is also very easy and can be done via the “Status” tab inside WhatsApp.

Changing your WhatsApp status (sometimes referred to as a “WhatsApp About“) is really easy to do.

However, let’s first clarify what sort of WhatsApp status you want to set.

You see, the original WhatsApp status is effectively just a static text that you set in your “About” section.

This is the old-school way.

The new way of setting a WhatsApp status is actually very similar to how Instagram stories work.

In fact, it’s effectively the same thing and it will send out an update to everyone you are connected to.

Changing Your WhatsApp About Message

Giving your profile a funny WhatsApp About message is really easy to do.

Here are the steps to set a funny WhatsApp status:

• Step 1: Tap the 3-dot icon in the upper right corner.
• Step 2: Then select “Settings” from the dropdown menu.
• Step 3: Now tap your name and then the “Edit” icon next to “About”.
• Step 4: Select a default status or type your own at the very top.
• Step 5: Finally, tap the back button.

Congratulations, you’ve successfully set your very first WhatsApp status.

Now you go through our list of 250 comedy WhatsApp statuses and find the one that best suits your current mood.

Sending Out WhatsApp Status Updates

If you’d rather set a status that is likely to get a little more attention, then we recommend that you send out a WhatsApp status update.

Status updates work exactly the same way Facebook or Instagram stories do.

Here are the steps to send a WhatsApp status:

• Step 1: Switch to the “Status” tab.
• Step 2: Tap the “My Status” button.
• Step 3: Select a picture and optionally add a caption as well.
• Step 4: Finally, tap the “Send” button in the bottom right corner.

That’s it!

All your contact will now have access to your latest status update for the next 24 hours.

250 Funny & Witty WhatsApp Status Ideas Grouped by Category

It’s about time we finally got to the juicy part of the article and probably also the primary reason why you’re here.

You’re trying to find some of the best funny WhatsApp status messages and we’ve got them!

Not only are these jokes status messages that we would set on our very own WhatsApp profile any day, but we’ve also made it very easy to find something that best suits your needs.

Most lists that are meant to help you find a funny WhatsApp status in English are not categorized by topics.

Instead, they’re just an endless list of WhatsApp quotes that are difficult to navigate.

Luckily, our list is grouped into various different topics:

• Alcohol & Drugs
• Animals
• Cheesy
• Clever
• Fitness
• Food & Drink
• Intelligence
• Hard Life
• Money
• Nerds & Geeks
• Parenting
• Philosophical & Motivational
• Procrastination
• Relationships
• Self-Descriptive
• Sleep & Tiredness
• Social Media
• Stats & Numbers
• Technology
• Wordplay & Puns

I know, it’s a long list. So let’s get to work!

Alcohol & Drug Status Ideas

• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems…but then again, neither does milk.
• Asking me if I want another drink is like asking me if I want some money.
• I only drink on two occasions: When it’s my birthday and when it’s not.
• I’m on a whiskey diet…I’ve lost three days already.
• My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.
• Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
• Twinkle twinkle little star…point me to the nearest bar.
• We go together like drunk and disorderly!

Cute Statuses for Animals Lover

• Did you know that dolphins are so smart that they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
• I named my dog “6 Miles” so I can tell people that I walk 6 miles every single day.
• I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of skittles.

Super-Cheesy Love Statuses

• By the way, I’m wearing the smile you gave me.
• Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
• Don’t worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes.
• Girl, you’re like a car accident, cause I just can’t look away.

Clever Joke Statuses

• A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
• Always give 100%, unless you’re donating blood.
• Apparently, I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.
• Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.
• Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes.
• Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you’re forgetting.
• Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
• Did you hear that joke that doesn’t offend anyone? Neither did I.
• Don’t follow me because I don’t even know where I’m going.
• Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.
• Don’t you hate it when people answer their own questions? I sure do.
• Faces you make on the toilet: (o_o), (><), (0_0), (^^)
• Fair warning: I know karate. …and some other words.
• Hey, you! yeah, I’m talking to you, why the hell are you reading my status?
• Hey, I’ll be back in five minutes. If I’m not, just read this message again.
• Hey, you are reading my status again?
• I am in a relationship with studies and it’s complicated.
• I have not changed. It’s just I grew up and you should try too.
• I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
• I don’t need a hair stylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
• I don’t think my iPhone is working. I pressed the home button, but I’m still there.
• i dont beleife in spele chek.
• I haven’t failed, my success is just postponed until later.
• I hold the key to world peace, but somebody changed the lock.
• I love rumors. I always find out amazing things about myself that I never knew about.
• I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.
• I never insult people I only tell them what they are.
• I see that you’re online. I am online too. Wanna, like, chat?
• I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
• I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure.
• I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
• I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I can’t put it down.
• If you are reading this then I’m sure you have nothing to do in your life.
• Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my WhatsApp status.
• Never judge a book by its movie.
• One person’s LOL is another’s WTF.
• So, you’re checking my status
• True friendship: Walking into a person’s house and having your Wi-Fi connect automatically.
• When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Fitness-related Status Ideas

• Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
• I love my six-pack so much. I protect it with a layer of fat.
• I work out every day I do 1 sit-up every morning when I wake up.
• I would lose weight, but I hate losing.
• I’m in shape. “Potato” is a shape.
• I’m not fat, I’m fluffy.
• My six-pack is protected by a layer of fat.
• The only thing I gained so far this year is weight!

Status Ideas for Food Lovers

• All my life I thought air was free. Until I bought a bag of chips.
• An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
• Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar!!
• I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
• I eat my tacos over a tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, bonus burrito.
• I like hashtags because they look like waffles #.
• I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
• I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
• Men have feelings too. For example, we feel hungry.
• My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
• When you’re downie eat a brownie!

Status about Intelligence

• Always remember that stupidity is not a crime….so you are free to go.
• Be smarter than your smartphone.
• Don’t play stupid with me, I’m better at it!
• For Sale: BRAIN. Used less. Perfect working condition!
• I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
• I smile because I have no idea what’s going on!
• I was born intelligent, but education ruined me.
• I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
• It’s alright if you don’t agree with me… I can’t force you to be right.
• Just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror!
• Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.
• Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.
• Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it.
• Of course, I talk to myself! Sometimes I need expert advice.
• The most common cause of stress nowadays is dealing with idiots.
• We live in an era of smartphones and stupid people.
• Zombies are looking for brains. Don’t worry, you’re safe.

Status about How Life is Hard

• Can we please go back to the main menu of life? I think I accidentally chose “impossible” mode.
• Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
• Dear stress, let’s break up.
• Did anyone ever notice that “STUDYING” is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?
• Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• I can’t believe I work this hard to be this poor.
• I deserve a medal every day I don’t stab someone with a fork.
• I didn’t lose my mind… I just sold it online!
• I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.
• I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.
• I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
• I like long, romantic walks down every aisle of Target.
• I salute all my haters with my middle finger.
• I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
• I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
• I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and terrified, like the passengers in his car.
• I wish I could mute people in real life.
• I wish I had a delete button in my life. To delete some people, some memories, and some feelings.
• I wish my wallet came with free refills.
• I wouldn’t trade one stupid decision for another five years of my life.
• I’m naturally funny because my whole life is a joke.
• I’m not actually funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
• If at first, you don’t succeed, we have a lot in common.
• If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return Mondays.
• If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.
• If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of car payments.
• In search of sleep, sanity, and the Shire.
• It’s not that I don’t want to go to work. I’m just allergic to crushing defeat.
• It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
• Life is beautiful. from Friday to Monday.
• My road to success is always under construction.
• Salary: Something which comes at 2G speed and goes away at 4G speed.

Money-related Status Ideas

• The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited”!
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.
• The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
• They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
• To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing!

Status Ideas for Nerds & Geeks

• I’m not crazy, I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
• Be nice to nerds, they will be your boss one day.
• Being weird is the side effect of awesomeness.

Statuses for Parents

• Having one child makes you a parent. Having two you are a referee.
• I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money?
• I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.
• I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter, and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work.
• I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade”.
• I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he’s still making fun of me.
• Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we’re married and live together so I’d have to see them every day.

Philosophical & Motivational Statuses

• A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.
• A wise man can always be found alone. A weak man can always be found in a crowd.
• An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist is afraid this might be true.
• Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
• Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
• Happiness does not have a price tag, so smile.
• I don’t have time to hate the people who hate me because I’m busy loving the people who love me.
• I have not failed. I’ve just found 10000 ways that won’t work.
• If nobody hates you, then you are doing something boring.
• It’s always the wrong person who teaches you the right things in life.

Statuses for Procrastinators

• Battery low, please disturb later.
• Choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.
• Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!
• Gonna be a great day. But first: Coffee.
• I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
• I am not lazy. I was just saving my energy.
• I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
• I made a huge to-do list for today. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
• I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
• I really should do something with my life… maybe tomorrow.
• I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.
• I recently gave up Warcraft, so my productivity and drinking have increased dramatically.
• I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
• I’m not avoiding work. I’m just in battery saver mode.
• I’m not lazy, I prefer the term “selective participation”.
• I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.
• I’m not lazy, I’m in energy-saving mode.
• I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.
• I’m too lazy to stop being lazy.
• If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
• If I’m already in my sweatpants, I’m not leaving the house again.
• It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy.
• My secret talent is getting tired without doing anything.
• Professional procrastinator.
• Today I have the motivation of a potato. Don’t hold your breath for a response.

Funny Relationship Statuses

• A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
• As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
• Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
• Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
• Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
• Friends are forever until they get into a relationship.
• Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.
• Girls are like the police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you.
• Happiness is when “last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing”
• Hey you, yeah you. The one reading this. Wanna know a secret? You’re beautiful. Don’t ever give up.
• I am not single. I’m just Romantically Challenged.
• I don’t have a girlfriend, but I know a girl that would get really mad if she heard me say that.
• I don’t worry about terrorism. I’ve been married.
• I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is… Scaring men is easy.
• I like dating older people because they’ve gotten used to life’s disappointments. Which means they’re ready for me.
• I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
• In my house, I’m the boss, and my wife is just the decision-maker.
• Installing love… 44%. Installation failed. Error 404: Install money first.
• Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
• My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
• Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.
• One wise guy invented WhatsApp… and his wife added last seen the feature
• She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.
• Women’s apology: I’m sorry, but it was your fault.

Self-Descriptive Statuses

• A caffeine-dependent life form.
• God is really creative, I mean… just look at me.
• I am not perfect, but I am a limited edition.
• I am, indeed, a king, because I know how to rule myself.

Status Ideas for Sleepy People

• At night, I can’t sleep. In the morning, I can’t wake up.
• Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.
• Home is where my pants are not.
• I like to stay in bed. It’s too “people-y” outside.
• I love sleeping but I never want to go to sleep early.
• I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist. I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos.
• I was going to take over the world this morning, but I overslept.
• I woke up this way.
• I’m already ready for tomorrow’s nap.
• I’m great in bed. I can sleep for days.
• I’m so tired, my tired is tired.
• Never give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.
• Sleep is my drug… my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.
• The bags under my eyes are Gucci.
• Time flies after you hit the snooze button.

Statuses about Social Media

• All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.
• Facebook is the only place where you can talk to the wall.
• Three mistakes of my life: WTF (Whatsapp Twitter Facebook)

Status with Stats & Numbers

• 1 in 4 people is crazy. Look at your 3 closest friends, if they seem OK, you’re the one!
• 204 countries, 805 Islands, 7 seas, 7+ Billion people and I’m still single.
• 3 horrible things in life: 1) Slow Internet. 2) Slow Internet. 3) Slow Internet.
• A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Tech-focused Status Ideas

• “Be strong” I whispered to my wifi signal.
• I have come to the conclusion that Google must be female, as she has the answer to everything!
• I remember when my old Nokia phone said I had a low battery it meant that I had 2 days to find a charger.
• I wish I had Google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.
• I wish my parents were like Google. They should understand me even before I complete.
• Yes of course I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.

Wordplay & Puns Status Ideas

• A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, “Make me one with everything.”
• The future, the present, and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
• After Monday and Tuesday, every calendar says WTF.
• Cartoonist found dead in a home. Details are sketchy.
• Dear math, I’m tired of finding your “X”. Due, she is gone, please move on bro.
• Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He’s alright now.
• Dyslexics are teople poo.
• How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.
• I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to realize it was just a Fanta sea.
• I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
• I told the doctor that I’d broken my arm in several places. He said not to go to those places.
• I was at a funeral and the widow asked if I would say a word. I said “plethora”. She said, “thanks, that means a lot!”
• I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
• I’d tell a chemistry joke but it’s pretty basic.
• I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
• I’m a glowstick. I had to break before I could shine.
• I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
• I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention!
• Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
• Sausage puns are the wurst.
• The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
• What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.
• What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
• When nothing goes right, go left.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Before we close off this article, let’s quickly address some of the most common questions that we’ve received about funny WhatsApp statuses.

Conclusion

Life doesn’t need to be boring or sad and the same is true for your profile on WhatsApp.

You can easily brighten up someone’s day by simply setting a funny WhatsApp status in your profile and making them smile once they read it.

We hope our list brings you and your network of friends tons of joy!

Here at Tokenized, we want to help you learn as much as possible about social media. We help you navigate the world of tech and the digitalization of our society at large, including the tokenization of assets and services.